A Questionable Train of Thought

A Questionable Train of Thought

by Niegel S. 

I do not know this train - its origin and destination,

Why I boarded it, and why I don’t know anything at all

I do not know its name, or my own for that matter,

Not even the name of this woman whose chilled hand I hold

I do not know her face - separated by these warm bodies

Pressing against me from all sides - there is only this cold tethering us

I do not know why I know that she is a certainly a she,

Or that she is dear to me; only that I don't want to let go

I do not know why she does though - as the doors usher in this unholy air

And screech when they move to close. She has escaped me. 

I do not know why her back is so familiar to me,

Her hair billows in the wind as my hand reaches for... 

you

Desperate to be where you are

The doors have closed and still, there you are

And I am here

But you are there

"why

are there

so many 

whys?"

But I do know why I withdrew my hand:

because I was afraid of this pain:

Of closing doors 

And that cold unfeeling air

Still, I do not know why -

Why had I let you go?

Why had I let you go alone?

But truly I do, and that’s the reason

why

there are 

so many

whys.

~~~

I didn't think three weeks would whizz by, but it did. There was so much to do that the endless summer syndrome didn't plague me. That said, I didn't feel productive at all. Like my New Year resolutions, my goals for the summer are left unchallenged. My unproductivity is an effective reminder of my ineffective time management skills. It does make me wonder how I'll brave my sophomore year (which stars next week).

Merde! I am growing up too fast. Or rather, time is passing by all too quickly.

Anyway, seeing as my freedom will soon be crippled by academics, I thought a nice way to cap off my first summer as a college student was to write. I chanced upon the idea for this piece during one of my many train rides. I hope you liked it!